Egg Roll in a BowlHalloween Takeout

Everything inside an egg roll, none of the wrapper. Chicken thighs, cabbage, and carrots hit a screaming hot griddle and come off sticky with soy and honey.
Serves 3~20 min cookBlackstoneLow-carb as is
The Order

What goes in.

The cook takes about 8 minutes once the griddle is hot, so every knife job happens before the heat comes on. Rice is optional and has to start first if you want it.

The Bowl

1½ lbboneless skinless chicken thighs
½ headgreen cabbage, about 6 cups sliced
2carrots
4 clovesgarlic
1 tbspfresh ginger, or ½ tsp ground
3scallions
2 tbspneutral oil

The Sauce

3 tbspsoy sauce
1 tbsprice vinegar
1 tbsphoney
1 tsptoasted sesame oil
1 tspsriracha or chili crisp

On Top and under

2 tbspmayo
1 tspsriracha, for the mayo
1 tbspsesame seeds
1 cupjasmine rice, optional
 kosher salt, black pepper
Step Zero · Rice, If You Want It

Start it before anything else.

Rice takes longer than the whole griddle cook. Skip this step entirely for the low-carb bowl.

A · Rinse
Put 1 cup jasmine rice in a fine strainer and rinse under cold water, shaking it, until the water runs mostly clear. That's about 30 seconds. Washing off the loose starch keeps it from turning gummy.
B · Simmer
Into a small pot with 1¼ cups water and a pinch of salt. Bring it to a boil, stir once, then lid on and heat to the lowest setting.
C · Rest
Pull the pot off the heat and leave the lid on. The steam finishes it. Fluff with a fork right before serving.
♪ Press playThriller · Michael Jackson

A watched pot does nothing. Leave the lid alone.

Lucky numbers: 15 min simmer · 10 min rest
The Rice
Simmer
Rest
Lid onthe whole time
Step One · The Sauce

Mix it now, while your hands are clean.

Once the griddle is going there's no time to measure. Whisk this in a small bowl and set it next to the Blackstone.

A · Whisk
  • 3 tbsp soy sauce
  • 1 tbsp rice vinegar
  • 1 tbsp honey
  • 1 tsp toasted sesame oil
  • 1 tsp sriracha or chili crisp
Stir until the honey fully dissolves. Taste it. It should be salty, a little sweet, and sharp.
B · Sriracha Mayo
In a second small bowl, stir 2 tbsp mayo with 1 tsp sriracha. Thin it with a few drops of water if you want to drizzle it in lines.

Something sweet hides in the dark. Taste it before you trust it.

Lucky numbers: 3 soy · 1 vinegar · 1 honey · 1 sesame
Step Two · The Knife Work

Vegetables first. Chicken last.

Cut the vegetables first so the chicken is the last thing you touch. That way you only wash the board and knife once, and the chicken gets salted right before it hits the steel.

A · Cabbage
Cut the half head in half again through the core, then cut the core out of each quarter at an angle. Lay each piece flat and slice across into ¼ inch ribbons. You'll have a mountain of it. It cooks down by half.
B · Carrots
Peel both carrots and shred them on the big holes of a box grater, or cut them into thin matchsticks. Thin is important so they cook as fast as the cabbage.
C · Aromatics
  • Garlic: mince 4 cloves
  • Ginger: grate 1 tbsp, skin and all, on a microplane
  • Scallions: slice thin and keep the white parts and green parts in separate piles
D · Griddle On
Light the Blackstone now on medium-high across all burners. It takes about 10 minutes to get properly hot, which is how long the chicken takes to cut.
E · Chicken
Pat the thighs dry and cut them into ½ inch pieces, trimming off any thick fat. Toss with ½ tsp kosher salt and a few cracks of pepper right before cooking.
Why Season Last

Small pieces with salt sitting on them for 5 or 10 minutes pull water to the surface and steam on the griddle instead of browning. Salt them and cook them right away.

♪ Cook toSomebody's Watching Me · Rockwell

You will meet many cabbages. Do not fear their number.

Lucky numbers: 6 cups · ¼ inch · ½ inch
Med-highGriddle
10 minPreheat
Prep
Griddle preheat
Chickensalt right before
Everything cutbowls by the griddle
Step Three · The Chicken

Spread it out and don't touch it.

Browning is the flavor here. Crowd the chicken or keep flipping it and it turns gray and gives off water. One flat layer, then leave it alone.

A · Check the Heat
Flick a few drops of water on the griddle. If they skitter and vanish in a second or two, it's ready. If they just sit and sizzle, give it a few more minutes.
B · First Side
Spread 1 tbsp oil over the hot zone and scatter the chicken in a single layer with a little space between pieces. Hands off.
C · Toss and Finish
Flip and toss with the spatulas. Cook another 3 to 4 minutes, tossing once or twice, until every piece is browned and there's no pink when you cut the biggest one. Thighs are best around 175°F.
D · Park It
Slide all the chicken over to the coolest edge of the griddle, or turn one burner to low and park it there.
♪ Cook toGhostbusters · Ray Parker Jr.

Those who move the chicken too soon shall know only gray.

Lucky numbers: 3 min · 3½ min · 175 °F
175°FThighs
1 layerNo crowding
The Chicken
First side
Finish
To the cool sidekeep it warm
Step Four · The Vegetables

Carrots, aromatics, then the whole mountain.

Carrots go first because they're the firmest. Garlic and ginger only get 30 seconds before the cabbage covers them so they don't burn.

A · Carrots
Spread the last 1 tbsp oil over the hot zone and add the carrots. Spread them out and toss once or twice.
B · Aromatics
Push the carrots aside and drop the garlic, ginger, and scallion whites straight onto the bare steel. Stir them around until they smell strong. Don't let them brown.
C · Cabbage
Pile all the cabbage on top and fold everything together. Toss it every 30 seconds or so, then let it sit a bit between tosses so the edges char. It's done when it's wilted and glossy but still has a little crunch.
● PourTsingtao · crack one while the cabbage cooks down

The cabbage remembers the flame. Let it sit before you stir.

Lucky numbers: 2 carrots · ½ aromatics · 3½ cabbage
The Vegetables
Carrots
Aromatics
Cabbage
Wilted, charred edgesstill a little crunch
Step Five · Sauce and Serve

One minute, then into the bowls.

The sauce goes on last so it glazes everything instead of steaming the cabbage limp.

A · Bring It Together
Pull the chicken back into the vegetables. Give the sauce a quick stir and pour it evenly over everything. Toss for one minute until it bubbles and coats every piece, then kill the heat.
B · Taste
Grab a bite. Splash of soy if it needs salt, squeeze of rice vinegar if it's flat, more sriracha if it's not scary enough.
C · Bowls
Rice in the bottom if you made it. Pile the egg roll filling on top. Drizzle the sriracha mayo in lines across it like a web, then scallion greens and sesame seeds.
♪ Sit down toSuperstition · Stevie Wonder

Your future holds sriracha. Much sriracha.

Lucky numbers: 1 min · 2 tbsp mayo · 1 web
The Finish
Sauce toss
Tastesoy, vinegar, heat
Topmayo web, scallion, sesame
Serves 3eat it hot
Two Bowls

Same griddle, two ways.

Over Rice

The Full Takeout
  • A cup of jasmine rice under it
  • A full scoop of filling
  • Sriracha mayo web on top
  • Tsingtao on the side

Low-Carb

No Rice
  • A bigger scoop of filling, nothing under it
  • Extra scallions and sesame
  • Mayo drizzle light, or skip it
  • Riesling on the side
Leftovers

It reheats well on the griddle or in a skillet the next day. The cabbage softens a bit overnight, so give it a hard sear to bring the edges back.

The Soundtrack · Halloween Party

Twenty minutes of monsters.

01ThrillerMichael Jackson
02Somebody's Watching MeRockwell
03GhostbustersRay Parker Jr.
04SuperstitionStevie Wonder
05Monster MashBobby "Boris" Pickett

The fun side of Halloween. Thriller runs about as long as the knife work, Ghostbusters hits right when the chicken goes on, and Monster Mash is for the dishes.

The Pour

What to drink.

The Takeout Classic

Tsingtao

The beer that comes with every Chinese takeout order. Crisp, light, and cold enough to cool down the sriracha. Imports section.

If You Want Wine

Riesling Kabinett

A touch of sweetness for the honey and heat, plenty of acid for the soy. Germany section, fridge cold.

No Booze

Ginger Lime Fizz

Spicy, bright, and orange in the glass if you use a ginger beer with some color.

Glasstall, full of ice
½ limesqueezed
6 ozginger beer
Garnisha coin of fresh ginger
For the Tracker

Macros.

Over Rice

One of 3 bowls, 1 cup cooked jasmine
Cal
~735
Protein
51g
Carbs
69g
Fat
26g

Low-Carb

One of 3 bowls, no rice
Cal
~530
Protein
47g
Carbs
24g
Fat
26g
Ballpark Numbers

About 6 grams of the carbs in the low-carb bowl are fiber from the cabbage and carrots. The sriracha mayo is about 60 calories a bowl, so skipping it is the easiest cut. Drinks not counted.

Your fortune awaits.
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